i was born in Brisbane in QLD, ten years before the official stolen generation policies stopped, a little over a year after the constitution referendum, and twenty years before the exemption certificate in Queensland was finally outlawed. I spent the first 34 years of my life in Wynnum, the suburb my father was born in

family stories and records have (so far) shown our mobs emerging, travelling and settling around Cunnamulla, Goodooga, Charleville and Brisbane. My great grandmother Ada Hooper was born on Tinnenburra station to Lizzie and Samuel Hooper

Ada married Albert Johnston and in Cunnamulla my grandfather was born

outside of trusted spaces like family barbecues and funerals, culture was not freely shared during my childhood. It was a price paid by my Ancestors for the cost of exemption certificates and for my sisters and I for being partAbo¹

in those safe spaces i asked questions and as my ability to read and write skyrocketed, I explored more through my greatest love, stories. I love everything about stories; narratives, accents, paper, books, pens, bookbinding and when I was a lot younger, dictionaries. I used to lean into the learned certainty of dictionaries when my home was caked in uncertainty. For my sixth Christmas, my parents granted me a dictionary as big as me. I have had a love/hate relationship with that book for 50 years

as a counsellor, i've taken my love of story into the professional space. I work with clients, to breakdown historical truths that were imposed by others. Others such as parents, teachers, government, religion etc who had the power of definition in a particular circumstance. I find that when people seek healing, they come clutching a story that they and others may only have considered from a select viewpoint. I combine these skills with my cultural and life experiences to expand those viewpoints

as Aboriginal became Yuwaalaraay and Muruwari, I started to learn languages through books and journals where our Ancestors were documented directly rather than Wanda² guessing or analysing. I was forever frustrated by the application of English rules, the misjudgements about Aboriginal³ Australia and the mispronounciations and misinterpretations that did not align with the knowledges shared in community

when Covid hit, my learning changed dramatically as TAFE opened up online classes with elders Aunty Beth and Uncle John. These gatherings explored purpose and reason (words Uncle John would never let us forget) and the appropriate language sharing practices that are lived between us. After the courses finished, i started online groups to keep in touch with other speakers dhubaanmala and family tinnenburra-baa. I am not yet fluent but I practice both Muruwari and Yuwaalaraay everyday

i am now travelling back through language records as part of a PHD study with Charles Darwin University. Research has improved in the last century to help protect future collecting  but for me it is important that in the language space, it is not left at that. I feel accountable to holding knowledges about us up against the light and seeing the different kinds of knowers and practices of knowing that were mutually present, and never acknowledged when our Ancestors shared the information

lastly .. i'm not really bad at grammar, the lack of capitals and full stops are for a reason. Our Ancestors were forced to take on another culture and language. I was born into those skills so it is not effective for me to protest by not using English. My compromise is that I do not start a paragraph with a capital (signalling the words have come from somewhere, like our Ancestors) and I do not end a paragraph with a full stop (signalling the words will go somewhere, like our future leaders)

footnotes

1 while there are many words that today are recognised as offensive, it is important for people to use terms that are familiar and strong to them, when revisiting their own story. he term "part abo" has a specific meaning and it is that meaning that reduced services, attitudes and the availability of desperately needed help when I was growing up

2 sometimes it is necessary to use a general term to refer to a person who was not Aboriginal and/or Torres Strait Islander. I use the term Wanda which is influenced by my age, family, culture, experience etc. You may use a different word, you may use the word Wanda for something else, i respect your choices and I thank you for respecting mine

3 as far as I know, my history has not intertwined with the lands, seas and skies of what is now known as theTorres Strait Islands. When I am referring to the Indigenous population of Australia, I use the term Aboriginal and/or Torres Strait Islander but when I talk about my own upbringing, I use the term Aboriginal